Best Friend

The COVID experiment gave me nine months off. I’m always working on something. I was thinking about Chelsea asking me who my best friend was. After thinking about it I said “Me”. She was like Naw, it’s me or something like that and I thought that she was crazy.

Bro I’m 100% my best friend. My first and best friend outside of my family was Dorian. By then I was 10 years old. In those ten years I spent a majority of my time at home with Donna. I consumed whatever she consumed or fucked off to my room. If I wasn’t doing homework I was thinking about girls, my life, self-esteem, how to have a good fucking time, and how to get better. … The setting was set by the time I met Dorian.

We vibed instantly from my recollection. That was my first nigga. He lived sorta around the corner from me when I moved to Churchland Street. Lemington Elementary was right behind our house. I could wake up, think about school, get dressed, and be there in four minutes. That was kinda clutch. A ten minute saunter away lived my Grandma. If I wasn’t at home I was there.

Friday Night was the Sabbath so I wasn’t doing SHIT. I was either at home consuming Bible related content with Donna or thinking. THE END. Every Saturday at 11 I was at church. Where the fuck else would I be?! Can’t skip God and then go fuck off somewhere. Nigga will see you… There was no reason nor would there be a reason for me not to be in church on Saturday.

Hillcrest is a small church nestled on one of the many hills overlooking the ever growing Hill District. (Yeeeahhh… real estate life shining through) With that said, there were less than two hundred people in that church. Hell, maybe even less than a hundo.

My idea of church family extended beyond those walls though. Across town in Wilkinsburg was Ethnan Temple. They were the only other Seventh-Day Adventist church I knew of. They had a much bigger population and much larger building from what I recall. Shit looked dope next to our rinky dink facility on the Hill. Either way since there were only two of us there was a silent rivalry. On Saturday I was either at my church, visiting a church out of town, or visiting Ethnan Temple.

My cousins went to Hillcrest so I wasn’t escaping the family. My Aunt Leslie attended with my cousins David, Karen, and Kristopher. Saturdays at 11a service started. I’d be up on Saturday eating, getting ready for church, and then at church. I thought church was boring until I was at teenager. I do remember our preachers and deacons being pretty intelligent. One pastor in particular stood out to me, Pastor Moffet (probably butchered the spelling). I remember our community being pretty smart in general. We weren’t a flash and bang church, we had discussions.

Saturday was filled with family, God, Bible related content, eating good food, and waiting for the sun to go down. At least when the sun went down I could talk about something worldly out in the open with my bros. I wasn’t at Club Zoo celebrating. I was still either at home, at a family member’s, or at church with the niggas. Saturday nights were always so cool to me because of the fun I had. I would watch a movie with my mom or play a game or do something cool with church family. On Sundays I did homework.

Fuck Sunday. I didn’t even know football was a thing because every Sunday I was doing homework. That or trying not to do homework. I had one day to cram all of it in. I at least made time for me and watched Pokemon. That’s all I remember being fun on Sundays… Pokemon.

Monday I’d be back in that weak ass school. I have memories of Lemington Elementary but really I don’t. I was almost non existent in elementary school. None of those niggas were my friends. I brought my healthy packed lunch to school in a red Rubbermaid container with its cloudy top and lil handle to grab on to. When I opened that motherfucker my classmates would gasp. What smelled excellent and delicious to me smelled weird to them. Everything else about me was just as weird to them and germane to me.

I had no friends in that school. I don’t even remember feeling bothered by it. Fuck these niggas, I had the Hicks family. Down the street from Lemington I could walk to my Grandma’s house. In there contained the Hicks(es?). This is important because these niggas are crazy. All of them. I was raised by a funny, aggressive, close knit group with unlimited personality. If I wasn’t with them I was at church, with my momma at home, or in my room alone. This went on for about ten years.

Middle school was just the next progression for me. I didn’t realize how much my mom pushed for me to get good education. The school she vied for me to get into was carved right out of the lush and beautiful Point Breeze neighborhood. At Sterrett Classical Academy I met Dorian. He lived right around the corner from me apparently. He was the first friend not from my clan.

At Sterrett I was in awe. I remember it being the first time I woke up in school. That and girls in that school were hot and developing. I was so used to seeing mostly black people that these Jew hoes and Russian hoes and Italian hoes and Turkish hoes were blowing my … oh yeah, and the white hoes… they were a new flavor. I always wanted to fuck Fran Drescher but to meet her?

That’s was middle school for me. From the moment I got there to when I left I remember being presented hard work. Middle school was the toughest education I received. Dorian was there getting straight A’s and still being cool as shit. I didn’t understand how one could be both, be all, and be so funny!

That nigga Dorian had me in stitches. I remember spending nights over his house laughing so hard all I could do was hold my aching stomach and roll on the floor laughing some more. Bro, how fortunate! Nigga was smart, knew VAAASTLY more about anything popular than me, and had good taste. How did I FIND this nigga? His family was cool as shit too.

I got lucky finding Dorian, getting into this school, meeting new people, and seeing different hoes. Apparently I got in trouble for talking a lot in school and the more I talk about it I can see why. I’m excited right now! I gained so many new friends at Sterrett. Dorian will tell you I disappeared some summers and I did. I was always on a mission, even if I had to abandon my best friend.

At the end of those days, no matter what day, whether Saturday after church or cracking up at my family or chasing hoes at school or hanging with my mom, I would always end up in my room by myself. Every single day I was waking up, experiencing the vast array of life’s offerings, and ending it in my room. I had a lot to think about and a lot of time to do it.

That lifestyle extended into my adulthood. I spent waaay more time with people after high school, despite having a burgeoning network already. I had enough time in my world and I was going to explore others'. I was everywhere, all the time, experiencing all that I could. From 17 years old to COVID I was running through the streets in epic fashion. Most nights, if not every night, I came home to myself and my thoughts.

My thoughts never left me. My mind is my office. All of my work is done there. While running the streets I had to do fast math and be decisive. I was living a life that only I could follow. In order for me to get the kind of research and experiences I wanted to I had to go alone. I could only trust my eyes and my judgment.

Anyway when Chelsea asked me who my best friend was I was taken aback when she thought she was. LOL. I spent 95% of my time alone. This life is work, a product from a good crop, continually improving since day one.


No one could go on this journey with me. It has been a one-man mission from the jump. Solid Snake with a knife in his teeth. Jack Reacher with the toothbrush. 

I love my life and what I’ve done. I’d love to share it with people who get me. I’ve found some dope people. I’m usually by myself but I’m never alone.






















Man, I need a geeb. The pogoers are gone so I can dance in the kitchen undisturbed. Tik, tok...