Hard Work (March 10, 2020)

Lazy doesn’t begin to describe me. At 33 years old I’ve done nothing. I’ve fucked a few girls, been to a place or two, did a few drugs and didn’t die. Some who know me would say I’m funny. Other people would say I’m a nice guy. I think both camps would agree that I’m weird. Still I’ve done nothing with my life. I’m lazy as fuck.

I’m doing laundry today. Man I’m really going for it. I walked two floors down, fumbled with some keys, opened a door, walked to a basement, placed four quarters in a machine and then walked the three floors back up to my apartment. I’m about to see if I can retire from chores. I’m shouting "Oh, he’s got to win MVP if he puts them in the dryer" as I reach my apartment. I light the already half smoked bowl and celebrate.


I’ve always been as lazy as I am today. Hard work is as annoying as the people who always do it. Kobe Bryant is gnawing at my subconscious but I gotta do what I gotta… I HATE hard work.


From what I understand the cycle of hard work goes as follows. 1. Do the hard work. 2. Improve at the hard work. 3. Love the hard work because 4. There’s only hard work. Hard working people exhaust me with their lifestyle choices. There seems to be no leisure involved. When I think of hard working people I picture them getting up early to start their day, a regimented schedule, sweat already by 5 a.m., books on tape while in transit, thermometers on a vision board mapping out progress, working out during lunch breaks and so on until a late 10p sleep time. I’d almost rather die than to be that.


I can do work. Hard, long (settle down), all day work. At T-Mobile I was a “Retail Sales Associate” but in actuality I was a mini manager with terrible sales acumen. At Two Men and a Truck Dorian and I would sometimes work from 8a to 8p lifting heavy furniture and having minimal breaks. My job at Goodwill was to lift stuff with no help for eight hours. That job I kept for a year. If hard needs to be done for sure I can do it.


It’s from all the hard work that I’ve seen and done in my life that I am so averse to it. I understand what needs to happen for things to get done. Thinking about how things can fail or succeed is an exercise I do daily. If I’m to do hard work it requires a lot of focus, dedication and precision. Anything less than All is an insult to the thing that I’m working on. Outside of beating my dick there is nothing in the world I want to work hard with.


Right now I’m 33 with no money, no career, no car and like two almost jobs. This is hardly working for me.